On Joe’s Birthday, a Collaboration with Steve Carey (if only)
or stunned with numerous local papers
where the buttered world has carried us
the ash fallen off the cigarette
in days so careless we had millions of health in the bank
just as I dreamt it
the dream of restoration
upstairs the man has come back
& all I can do is step over
a fluttering of clues
for reappearance—
it is green all around
there is love all around
in that northern town
The Short Night & Long Day
of 100 billion neurons
that make me twitch like a one-eyed cat
sleeping in a seafood store
that turn a dot into a pasque
a drop into a man
100 billion neurons run in every direction
some lope like a sleepy heifer
some gallop like a spooked bull
some tangle & fall
100 billion neurons
each a spark of conviction
you to you to you to you
High in November
Cheery as a lamb
Johnny toddles by & tousles my hair.
… & I’m back in my first months in NY, my empty apartment
(now with so much art & books & breathing) —
the light fixture I thought was a gas outlet:
scared to touch it, I didn’t see my walls for years.
One Fourth of July, Brodey sat on the middle part of an aqua sectional couch—
the only piece I had—
grilling over his shoulder on the fire escape
in the hibachi he’d brought.
Later I pushed that couch out the window.
I found broken glass
in a jar of bouillon powder
& the company by way of apology
sent me a case of caviar.
I opened my tenement icebox one day
to nothing but caviar & decided to throw a cocktail party.
I bought a blender
& made a drink of honeydew melon & amp;vodka.
I eat cookies with specks of salt
& kiss Johnny on his way to lie down & watch
something that makes him laugh.
I look at Biala’s flowers every day
& every day I’m abashed to see them.
Just like Ollie, my 40-years-older boyfriend
who I loved so much,
I managed to get old
being the same old fucked-up me.
East Village Tales
How’d you get thrown out of so many laundromats? he asked
as though that were an accomplishment
they think I’m not serious
because I’m not in debt
here in the nabe we live the lives we choose
that’s why we live here
I was the meanest girl in Sioux Falls & I’m the nicest girl in New York
which is only the difference between my two hometowns
he’s a happy man
but I can make him happier