CA Conrad

Only In Stacking Books Can The Tree Feel Its Weight Again

              I am so fucking sick of nations
                         and the men who love them
                                 the number of suicides
                                     this afternoon hiding
                                         in bottom of a cup
                                        I feel feral out here
               found a man who likes me like that
            found a man who lives the way I do
        7 years on the road anniversary soon
     you only have to destroy
 yourself for love until it is normal
 which makes love normal
   and refuse to live a day without it
     an inferno if it
      at 16 sleeping with
       my mother’s boyfriend
        I was overwhelmed with it
         solids form around you until you
          struggle no more beneath it
           feel throat open in a word
            naming new stars moving across
             the ceiling from the disco ball
              constellations with stories to
               soften hardened hearts
                we finish the night
                 reading poetry out loud
                  last night Erica Kaufman’s
                   mind blowing Post Classic
                                   poetry and love
                                 sure know how to
                       hang a Welcome sign out
                     measure and transmit from
             the pink and adorable telemetry
     no more waiting between parenthesis
we now excel in the ether while holding hands


CA Conrad is the author of nine books of poetry and essays, including their latest books JUPITER ALIGNMENT: (Soma)tic Poetry Rituals (Ignota Books, forthcoming 2020) and While Standing in Line for Death (Wave Books), which won a Lambda Book Award.