Jerome Sala

After the President’s Speech

A
pink
poodle
named
Molly
jumped
into
the
Passaic
River.

She
was
rescued
by
emergency
workers
who
had
not
yet
been
cut.

Fake Cheap

It
looks
cheap.

It
talks
cheap.

It
acts
cheap.

But when you
add it all up,
it
costs
more
than
anything else.

They Found a Way

there it is

and only they see it

now they are walking tall

like rockabilly stars on the rise

in a movie that parodies

rockabilly stars on the rise

scored to the tune that tells them

to keep on walking

through the pangs of fame

through the fangs of the news

strutting like red roosters

through Bluebeard’s Castle

assuring their prospects that

they are now post-Bluebeard

they are walking

past the pot of sloppy fantasy

pioneers now in the new landscape

of the rowdy somewhere else

treasure hunters who have found their treasure

reassuring their populace of a new measure

of which they own the facts and the stats

Lesson

That afternoon, in the midst of doing “shadow work”

i.e. making peace with my shameful parts

so as to regain my inner powers,

a Wizard appeared, and began lecturing me

on how to dress.

“As the outer, so the inner,” he said,

“so to regain your inner power

you must become familiar

with the powerful brands of the outer world.”

He conjured up from the hell realm of commerce

the latest offerings from Nike, Adidas, Prada,

from Saint Laurent, Ralph Lauren, from

Fear of God Essentials, and North Face.

He taught me how functional outer wear

could be a fashion statement, surpassing

the intention of its designers,

how it could enable one to become adept

at the skills of conceptual transformation.

How high-end brands generate self-compassion.

How comfortable essentials can help one accept

the strange vibrations that magnetize the core personality.

“Learn this,” my guide told me—

“and then, like a rare antique necklace going up for auction,

or a former ballet dancer who earns a doctorate at age 78,

you will realize that like a Teenage Ninja Turtle film,

there is always room for a sequel—

even if your life up to this point,

has been nothing but one fashion emergency after another

Jerome Sala holds a Ph.D in American Studies from NYU. His many years working as a copywriter has given him a unique perspective on consumer culture and he uses the vernacular to great political and poetic effect. His most recent of many books is Glop from BlazeVox. He is also an author with New York Quarterly Books. His lively blog is called Espresso Bongo. He is the Swift of our times.